Studio Series #117 Hatchet

It's at least somewhat rare these days that I buy a figure knowing it's going to be shit. Particularly over the last couple of years, as Hasbro's QC is consistently found to be going down the toilet. When they take seven years to complete a set of characters from a movie that came out fourteen years ago, and balls it up not once (SS Crankcase using the SS Crowbar mold rather than TLK Berserker, despite having identical vehicle modes) but twice (as we're about to find out), one has to wonder if the delayed Hatchet precisely because they knew it was shit.

And, in all honesty, I wasn't really intending to buy Hatchet. As far as I'm concerned, Studio Series has devolved in exactly the same way as every other TransFormers line from Hasbro: its core idea - the most screen-accurate 'bots created using final CGI models as the basis - is no longer the foundation of the line, QC and material quality have taken a nosedive, and paintwork has been reduced significantly.

But... As with the Seekers, I felt a compulsion to complete the Dreads at the same scale and so picked him up at the MCM London Comic Con last month. The basis for the compulsion was largely that, while the original 'Commander class' DotM Hatchet toy was very cool for its size, the jet mode really made no sense. So, let's take a look at Studio Series Hatchet. It can't be that bad, surely?

Studio Series #03 Crowbar

Given that we never got to see the Seekers in Michael Bay's TransFormers movies (not properly, anyway, they were paid lip service when Wheelie described a set of photos produced by Simmons as depicting Seekers, who had been on Earth "for thousands of years, looking for something" but, aside from introducing Jetfire as seemingly the last remaining Seeker on Earth, the concept wasn't explored any further), the Dreads, introduced (and sadly killed off) in Dark of the Moon, effectively filled their role... And rather than being jets, they all transformed into sober black Chevrolet Suburbans, all seemingly law enforcement vehicles.

Sadly, the Dark of the Moon toyline brought the three Dreads out in different size classes, and each was given a unique vehicle mode - Crankcase was the only Deluxe at the time, turning into a Suburban, Hatchet was a Cyberverse Commander and turned into a jet(!), while Crowbar only ever made it as a dinky Cyberverse Legion class figure, turning into a car.

Now, however, hot on the tails of The Last Knight's Berserker figure (aka Crankcase v2), Hasbro's Studio Series has delivered a Deluxe class Crowbar, superficially similar to the TLK figure... Sounds great in theory, but is it surplus to requirements?

The Last Knight/Premier Edition Berserker (AKA Crankcase v2)

The toyline from Dark of the Moon was extremely variable. Much of it was remakes and fine-tuning of existing figures (most notably those Autobots who actually survived the first two movies) and a whole lot of the random Decepticon background 'characters' never made it into toy form. The Dreads - an indentikit set of spike monsters that transformed into identical SUVs - didn't all make it onto the shelves in the same size class, and the only one of them to come out as a Deluxe, Crankcase, was a hopeless mess of car panels and fragility.

Cut to the fifth movie in the increasingly ridiculous live action movie franchise, and we're introduced to a Decepticon supposedly known only as 'Berserker'... who looks remarkably similar to Crankcase. Berserker somehow managed to be part of the first wave of The Last Knight's toys, and early photos suggested that Crankcase's character model has finally been done justice... So let's take a closer look...

DotM Mechtech Crankcase

The giant alien robots in the TransFormers movie series have, so far, been pretty light on character, and there haven't been any of the traditional teams so far (Starscream but no Seekers, Devastator but no properly individual Constructicons) and, when a proper team was introduced - the ground-based 'Dreads' in Dark of the Moon - they were all unceremoniously offed by the Autobots before we learned anything interesting about them.

While all three appeared on screen as large black SUVs, in a strangely uneconomical move, they were reimagined for the toyline, with two becoming Legends class cars, another being a Cyberverse Commander class jet, and only one becoming a Deluxe class toy that vaguely resembled the character's on-screen appearance. That lucky fellow was Crankcase...

DotM Hatchet

Hasbro can make some pretty bizarre choices when it comes to turning 'characters' (and I use the term loosely) from the live action TransFormers movies into toys. Or not turning them into toys. Dark of the Moon featured a plethora of Decepticon troops being brought down from the moon which, you'd have thought, would give them the perfect opportunity to extend the toyline exactly the way they did with the first live action movie... Only by this point, they were already cutting costs, so even some of the 'named' movie bots only came out in one size class and others didn't come out at all.

So, in the movie, the three 'Dreads' - Crankcase, Crowbar and Hatchet - transformed into identical police SUVs. For the toyline, we got a Deluxe class Crankcase, Cyberverse Legion class versions of both Crankcase and Crowbar... and then a Cyberverse Commander class Hatchet, and it was nothing like the character's appearance in the movie...