TransFormers: Waste of the Beasts... AKA Equivocation of the Franchise

I said I was going to see it... So I went to see it.

There were signs that the completed movie wasn't quite so bad as I had expected and/or predicted... Though, even in that, there are caveats. At this point, this whole thing is very much overdue - I saw the movie at the end of June, after all - and I'd started to wonder if I should even bother now. 

I had, of course, read the effusive fan praise that appeared throughout the internet immediately after the movie opened and had taken it with a pinch of salt. I had read spoilers and comparisons between the movie shown in test screenings, months ago, and the final theatrical cut. I had read stories of extensive reshoots and disagreements between teams of Editors over what could be salvaged and made watchable from a movie rumoured to be potentially about four hours long. None of what I saw or read gave me any reason to doubt that Rise of the Beasts was an absolute disaster, for Paramount, for Hasbro, and potentially for Steven Caple Jr.'s future career. Given that it's now been almost five years since the Bumblebee solo movie hit the cinemas, I get the impression that some fans must have been suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

Potential spoilers ahead...

Rise of the Beasts: Trailers, Fan Chatter & Toy Musings

I've already made a couple of passing references to my concerns about the upcoming live action movie, TransFormers: Rise of the Beasts, not least due to its long production delays and reshoots, as well as my ambivalence toward the toys thusfar revealed. As we get closer to the movie's intended release date in June, the hype is naturally building. There have been more toy reveals - including confirmation that the two very different styles of toys that have emerged are due to the expected, individual Studio Series releases and a pair of three-packs that will appear in a separate, dedicated Rise of the Beasts toyline - along with the expected early reviews from the usual suspects on YouTube.

The teaser trailer appeared a few months ago, with the message that "For millions of years, our world has transformed... but something else has awakened" and "Power is primal" - both equal parts ominous and utter nonsense - along with piss-poor CGI that fans have been picking apart and rushing to defend, in almost equal measure, ever since. It was followed more recently by a Superbowl teaser that added little of any substance, and which seemed to be pushing the Porsche brand as much as the movie, but the overall impression I've been getting - for quite some time - is that Rise of the Beasts is not Knightverse part 2, but Bayverse version 2.