On War for Cybertron - My (Probably) Final Thoughts

Since I'm now highly unlikely to get many other toys from the Kingdom toyline (seen Galvatron, think it's probably shit - I mean, spaceship handguns? Really? - but will reserve judgement till alternate mode photos emerge - ADDENDUM 19/3/21: have now seen the 'leaked' cannon mode images and, yes, it looks like shit), I'll take this opportunity to address one of my gripes about the so-called 'F.O.S.S.I.L. (Fossilized Osteo-Skeletal Shield Integration Loadout) Technology' which supercedes the 'C.O.M.B.A.T. (Cybertronian Omnifunctional Modular Battlefield Assault Tech) System*' pioneered in the Siege toyline.

 

Not that it exists in the first place - on that score, I have reached a state of equanimity.

 

Nor that robots transforming into dinosaur skeletons makes zero sense, particularly when the Beast Machines TV show established that a Cybertronian could develop a full, techno-organic beast mode by scanning a fossil.

 

Nor is my gripe even that someone at Hasbro clearly thought that acronym qualified as a clever and/or amusing pun and doesn't realise (or didn't care) that Osteo-Skeletal is a tautology. Marvel Comics strained credulity with some of their ridiculous acronyms, but the word salad of F.O.S.S.I.L. really takes the cake.

 

My gripe here is that, compared to Siege and Earthrise, this extended, collaborative play gimmick hasn't been evenly applied to all the toys. Optimus Primal has zero ports (despite appearing in the promotional artwork wearing F.O.S.S.I.L. armour), Megatron only two (on the soles of his feet), while Blackarachnia - about the smallest Deluxe in the line - has four (one on each calf, one on the sole of each foot), and Airazor has six (one on each arm, two on each leg) largely due to the intended deployment of her own weapons.

 

Real Gear Robots Booster X10

If you think about it, the concept of Real Gear Robots is as much a homage to those G1 toys taken from Takara's Micro Change line as it was a logical extension of the 2007 movie line, inspired by the transforming robots created by blasts of energy from the AllSpark cube. What better way to honour the very beginnings of the TransFormers line than to revisit the concept of robots in disguise as life-size items of consumer electronics? In a way, isn't it more strange that Hasbro had avoided that segment of the original toyline for so long?

 

However, the connection to the movies was, by all accounts, sheer good fortune, because the toys had apparently been in development alongside the Cybertron/Galaxy Force toyline. Long overdue though this reboot was, I think Hasbro were right to hold off on it, since it has no tangible connection to that line, and probably would not have garnered the same attention as a standalone line at the time, as it later achieved as an offshoot of the first movie toyline.

But let's take a look at one of my first purchases of the line and see how it compares to its distant ancestors.

Unique Toys R-03 Dragoon

I have a complicated relationship with The Last Knight, the final movie in Michael Bay's increasingly bizarre series of live action TransFormers movies. I refused to see it in the cinema, because it looked like a mess, and have continued to refrain from viewing it ever since. I didn't like the idea of shoehorning dragons and Arthurian legend into TransFormers (or vice versa), I have never enjoyed the excessive focus on human characters in movies ostensibly about giant alien robots, and the whole 'Knight' motif looked ridiculous...

...Nevertheless, I found the new design for Megatron strangely compelling. There was just enough G1 essence squeezed into his 'Black Knight' look (the stylised helmet, the arm-mounted cannon, Frank Welker's voice) and his vehicle mode (a coherent, albeit still very alien air/space craft) was vastly more impressive than any of those that preceded it, that it turned out to be one of the least aggravating designs for the Decepticon leader in the whole series.

Since I tend to prefer Leader class toys, when available, for Megatrons and Optimus Primes, I picked up the larger version from Hasbro's almost comically misnamed 'Premier Edition' line and, while it was a decent enough toy, it took some serious liberties with the design and its paint job was not just typically miserly but also amateurish and sloppy in its 'weathering' effects.

Since I'd already acquired Unique Toys' inaugural movie effort, Peru Kill, I wasn't particularly suprised when they unveiled their take on TLK Megatron, and it looked every bit as impressive... But does the end result meet the high expectations set by their first movieverse figure?

On Hasbro Pulse, and Courier Frustrations (with Addenda)

I learned yesterday - to my immense pleasure - that Hasbro have finally extended their Pulse webstore to the UK... just a little over two years after it launched in its current form.

 

Naturally, I wasted no time in putting through an order - Kingdom Airazor - and was somewhat concerned to note that Hasbro's courier of choice is Yodel.

 

There isn't a single courier out there that does not have its detractors, but my recent experiences of Yodel have been particularly noteworthy. I quite like that they identify their drivers by name, because it means I can be sure that I've had the same driver deliver to me three times in the space of about six months. Here's a brief summary of those experiences:

 

Magic Square Toy/Mukudo MS-G01 Peach Girl

 (Femme-Bot Friday #76)

In one form or another, the Super Deform phenomenon has always had a connection to TransFormers. Many of the original Mini Autobots (such as my first TransFormers purchase, Cliffjumper) were based on SD-style Choro-Q/Penny Racer toy cars, and there have been several overtly SD TransFormers toys more recently - both official, like Takara's Choro-Q Robo subline or the more recent Q TransFormers, and Third Party, such as Master Made's SDT series or Hero Hobby's Tiny series.

That being the case, the only strange thing about Mukudo's take on an SD Arcee is how long it took to happen, and particularly that it emerged after not only a selection of mainline and other Third Party figures, but after the official Masterpiece as well.

So, let's take a look at this dinky, cutesy and surprisingly late addition to my Arcee collection and see how she compares to other contemporary Femme-Bots...

Robots in Disguise Rail Racer

While the three components of Hasbro's Rail Racer were sold separately, Takara's version - JRX - was available as a single boxed set containing all three toys, each one featuring a lavish paint job to conceal the extensive use of translucent plastic in their construction. Given that none of the individual members of Team Bullet Train are exceptionally good, and that they're an unusual size (they'd probably be considered Voyager class these days), Hasbro's decision to break the set up into three supposedly Mega class boxes (probably only to accommodate their length) seems like nothing more than a means of maximising profits. By my estimate, the set of three would probably have amounted to the equivalent of single Super class figure like Optimus Prime or Ultra Magnus.

In retrospect, I'm more than a little weirded out by Hasbro's choice of size class descriptors: Spychangers (the Matchbox-sized vehicles), Basic (mostly G1 gestalt limb repaints), Deluxe (covering everything from the Autobot Car Brothers to the components of Landfill/Build King and G1 gestalt torso repaints), Mega (Team Bullet Train, Sky-Byte and two 3-packs of larger Basics that were effectively Beast Machines overspill), Ultra (Megatron and Galvatron) and Super (Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus), with roughly Super-equivalent toys like the Dreadwind/Smokejumper set and Scourge being outside the official size classes, apparently because they were US store exclusives. These designations are almost painfully 90s and, personally, I feel that they set Mega, Ultra and Super in the wrong order.

But I digress... Let's finally take a look at the members of Team Bullet Train in their combined form, as Rail Racer!