We've seen announcements recently for TransFormers crossovers with both Jurassic Park and some musical artist named J. Balvin (both with photos) as well as, supposedly, the whole pantheon of Universal Monsters, starting with Dracula, and even some tentative plot details about the next live action TransFormers movie, subtitled Rise of the Beasts...
...And I'm genuinely starting to worry about the future of TransFormers.
The JP crossover, predictably featuring a repaint of Kingdom Megatron with a new headsculpt, is reportedly an Amazon exclusive. My own previous experience of Amazon exclusives suggests this will be yet another problematic release, with stocks arriving in the UK far later than expected, most likely leading some to pay inflated secondary market prices before the set finally becomes available via the intended channel. The Megatron repaint actually looks quite good - Dino mode has a more 'realistic' colouration and a more detail-oriented paint job on the dino skin, while robot mode is a love letter to the G1 Dinobots, being largely red and black, though naturally without any of the gold/silver chrome. The new head sculpt looks fantastic - seemingly styled mostly after G1 Grimlock, but with its own unique character and a more contemporary twist. There is, perhaps, too much red plastic, and not enough paintwork generally, let alone not enough variety in colour, but it's the sort of thing I might normally be tempted to pick up, not just because Tyrannocon Rex is, apparently, a Femme-Bot.
Sadly, the second figure - Autobot JP93, referring to the year the first Jurassic Park movie hit the cinemas - looks exactly like the kind of crappy knockoff figure you might see in the London Zoo gift shop. It exhibits all the worst characteristics of Hasbro's current output - thin, hollow plastic parts, garish colour, ugly paintwork (being a fudged attempt at the weird branding on the vehicles used in the movies), and outdated engineering coupled with an incongruously silly head sculpt. Its paint job is, to be fair, enviably detailed (headlights and tail lights painted, with even the frames on the latter given a coat, sloppy though it appears to be in the publicity shots) but the engineering looks to be fraught with problems. Not least of these is the apparent use of translucent plastic for its feet, including a pinned hinge at the toe, knee joints that comprise a chunk of the vehicle's painted rear... and ball-jointed elbows? What is this, 2006?
And what should one expect to pay for this set? Well, it's easily the most expensive Amazon exclusive thusfar, weighing in at $105 (£76) in the States, and a positively eye-watering £125 ($173) in the UK. It just isn't worth that, however you look at it. Were I any more invested in Tyrannocon Rex, I might almost be tempted to try to source one from the States by getting a friend to order it, but then shipping to the UK could become problematic, as well as highly likely to bring the cost back up to about £125... and it's barely worth £76.
The J. Balvin set is a garish, KO-style bright yellow repaint of G1 Soundwave packaged with equally garish repaints of Laserbeak and Stripes, as well as possibly replacing the iconic original 'battery' weapons with a pair of giant purple blasters that can combine. No images have yet emerged of the Universal Monsters toys, but the description of Draculus doesn't exactly inspire confidence. Let's not forget that Universal themselves have tried several times over to reboot their much-loved classic franchise, and every single attempt so far has failed dismally. In what way is a crossover with TransFormers supposed to be better?
Meanwhile, early details of Rise of the Beasts makes it sound like they're carrying on Michael Bay's pattern of throwing as much shit at the wall as possible, just to see what sticks... Can't wait to see what monstrous toys come out of that movie...
Seriously, at this point, Hasbro had better have something mindblowingly good lined up for next year...
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