War for Cybertron: Siege Soundwave Spy Patrol #2

It can hardly be disputed that the War for Cybertron toyline took a lot of its cues from Generation 1. The whole thing was pitched as (yet another) reboot of the very origins of TransFormers, but set in the time before Optimus Prime led the Autobots away from their home planet. More than that, though, the line saw the reintroduction - much to my chagrin - of the Micromaster size class along with the continued downsizing of toys in the existing Leader, Voyager and Deluxe pricepoints. While the Voyager class Soundwave wasn't packaged with any Micromasters, Hasbro's strategy of releasing them as 2-packs neatly mirrored not only the G1 Micromasters, but the card-backed releases of the original Cassetticons.

The only Micromasters I bothered picking up initially were Laserbeak and Ravage, comprising the original 'Soundwave Spy Patrol' set, but when a second Spy Patrol later emerged, featuring Rumble and Ratbat, I had that awful, sinking feeling that I was about to part with some money to obtain another pair of sub-par remakes of G1 classics. Strangely, this proved not to be the case initially, since the second Spy Patrol set seemed to sell out everywhere, almost instantly... There were sources overseas, but I didn't feel like paying over the odds and then risking import fees...

 

Cut to almost two years later, when I found a UK-based eBay seller offering them at a reasonable price. No need to ask what happened next, right?

Rumble

Alternate Mode:

While it makes sense for Soundwave's minions to be packaged as Micromasters, my main problem with them - in Siege, at least - is that they're all basically just boxes or panels. Not a single thing about their design or appearance gives even the barest suggestion of their intended purpose and they feature no accessories because they are accessories. Compare and contrast with the Battle Masters, which all transform into weapons or sections of platform for linking the larger base toys, and which were all packaged with blast effect parts.

 

Rumble, meanwhile, does a slightly more involved form of robo-yoga than the platform 'bots, yet becomes nothing more than a two-tone panel of indeterminate purpose. It fits well enough (though perhaps a little too snugly) in Soundwave's chest, but its fold-out peg doesn't fit the 5mm C.O.M.B.A.T. ports very well and, in any case, if he's pegged into another 'bot, his entire robot mode becomes the outward-facing side. Considering it really wouldn't have made much impact on Rumble's robot mode to have the peg fold out from his waist, this seems ridiculous...

The 'front' of the box has the expected Siege excess of panel lining, with none of it appearing particularly functional, and only the barest nods to Rumble's G1 origin as a cassetticon in the form of two circular details a little over halfway up and, unfortunately, filled with screws. The only paintwork on this face is blanket coverage in red on the outer sections, the main central panel and two chunks of the upper section, directly above the aforementioned circular details. It would be tempting to hope that the lion's share of the paint budget was kept for detailing robot mode, but since most of it is plainly visible on the other face, that's clearly not the case.

Often, one could rely on Reprolabels to offer something to improve bland toys like this, but their stickers only attempt to make Rumble look more like the microcassette he clearly is not. I get that not a lot can be done with a small, flat box if it's not intended to resemble a real-world microcassette... but,  Siege gave the toy designers almost infinite scope for reinventing Soundwave, the Cassetticons and the way they interact. That being the case, Rumble perfectly exemplifies how badly Hasbro dropped the ball.

And then, of course, being a toy effectively sold as an accessory, he comes with no accessories of his own - neither the piledrivers he used in the TV show, nor the winged blasters packaged with the G1 toy... but then, he doesn't feature any C.O.M.B.A.T. ports of his own either, when both the original toy and the Masterpiece remix used the hollows of the tape drums as connection points.

The funny thing is, when I first looked at Rumble in this form, after getting him out of the packaging, I thought I might have bought a knockoff - going by the large sticker on the back of the pack, the seller had definitely imported from China - but, having looked up photos on several fan sites, this is just how he looks... And it looks pretty bad.

Robot Mode:

Perhaps I'm going to be a little unfair, because I still consider the G1 Cassetticons Rumble and Frenzy to be pretty much a masterclass in successfully transforming a small and innocuous rectangular block into a small, humaniform robot. They were only marginally improved upon by the Masterpiece versions, and those improvements were in articulation rather than overall appearance. This thing... Honestly, if you put it next to the G1 toy and asked random people which was the older version, they'd probably pick this one, because its proportions are awful, it's paint job is severly lacking and, while its articulation is arguably better overall, it just looks clumsy.

For starters, he's far too wide for his height and, while the hips are technically in the right place according to the sculpt, they appear to be too high up his body - like his legs are attached to the sides of his waist - because the torso is such a weird shape. While the arms and legs are about the right length for his height, the former are too bulky and blocky for their length and the latter suffer from that common problem of having short, stubby thighs compared to the length of the shin: bend his leg at the hip, and his knee barely clears the front of his torso. Also, where the G1 toy had feet that slid out from within the ankle area, this version has them as shallow sculpted detail on the front. The sculpt of the leg actually tapers backward to add slight emphasis to the foot, but it's really just not enough.

The differences in the amount of sculpted detail around the body are more striking that the detail itself. The legs attempt to replicate the appearance of the stickers on the G1 toy and, to be fair, I think the shins do a better job than the Masterpiece version, and without succumbing to the excess of redundant detail that plagued the most of the larger Siege toys. It might have been a bit more effective if the panels on his thighs had been painted silver, or if the thighs were molded in grey plastic rather than black, but at least there's a bit of panel lining on there in reference to the stickers. The torso adequately reflects the look of the original, albeit far smaller and with the barrels in his chest filled in (since they appear to be screw points) but, rather than the lovely, glossy chrome of the original, this version has quite dull gold-ish paint. The arms, meanwhile, have the least detail of any Siege toy one could name - just a few panel lines and chunky hands pretty much ruined by the blast effects nubs he wears as knuckledusters. It almost looks as if his hands have hands.

 

As mentioned above, Rumble has no accessories - no weapons, no piledrivers... not even any blast effects to peg into the nubs on his hands... The fold-out peg on his back is naturally still accessible, so he could, potentially, accommodate Weaponiser parts with sockets, but that's literally the only connection point. It should come as no surprise that there are already some 3D printed accessories for the Siege Rumble/Frenzy mold, but those that I've seen only highlight the figure's ugly proportions, particularly the bizarrely chubby piledrivers. I've found that he can wear Ratbat as a makeshift flight pack if each have their pegs extended such that the other's can be pushed into the slots left behind by extending them... though that looks more than a little bit daft.

If the body is largely disappointing, the head is almost a saving grace. It's certainly based more on the animation model than the original toy, but they've packed in a reasonable amount of detail to what's effectively little more than a 5mm cube atop his shoulders. I'm not sure if the expression on his silver-painted face is intended to be a teeth-bared grimace or if he just has a highly-defined bottom lip below a closed, downturned mouth, but he has the requisite 'street punk' attitude either way. I'd say the face is a touch too small, and the head overall reminds me a little too much of either a G1 gestalt or HeadMaster connection peg, but it's still pretty much the best thing about the toy.

One glance at Rumble's alternate mode is all you need to clue you in to how this works. The head does literally nothing other than straighten out if it's been rotated for posing, the arms shift up and in at the shoulder to settle either side of the head, the hands fold down toward the body, the lower legs rotate, then bend 90° at the knee. The hip joints then swing the legs into position below the outstretched arms and over the hands, pegging in to the sides of the torso. It's essentially G1 Mini Autobot-level simplicity, but without the aesthetically pleasing alternate mode.

The one thing this figure almost does better than the G1 toy is articulation: the shoulders are ball joints on the end of a hinged part, so the movement of his arms is rather more natural. On the downside, this does come at the loss of his elbows, because there's not enough room to accommodate them. The ball joint offers unrestricted rotation and 90° bend out to the sides, while the hinge allows him to shrug slightly, or raise his arms right up against his head. The legs can kick forward, back and out to the sides by about 90° each way, while the ball joints at the knee offer 90° bend and unrestricted rotation, though the hollow feet only offer a stable footprint if his legs are straight. That said, balancing him on one foot isn't too difficult. Lastly, the head can rotate a full 360°, even though it's not needed for transformation.

Ratbat

Alternate Mode:

The alternate forms for all of Soundwave's minions have one job: being a box... Yet, of the four I own, the least successful robot, Rumble, makes the most successful box, while Ratbat - like Ravage and Laserbeak before him - looks like a flat-packed robot beast. While Laserbeak is still, without a doubt, the worst because he looks like a lap tray, Ratbat comes a very close second. Like Rumble, his entire robot mode is visible, virtually unchanged, on his reverse, and there are ugly great gaps on both sides. In terms of pure functionality, though, Ratbat is the worse simply because he doesn't fit properly in Soundwave's chest door. He can be jammed in there, but he presses up against the sides and prevents the eject button from functioning. Bit of a problem there, considering that's his main raison d'être.

Ratbat's 'front' is fairly well decorated, and certainly more visually engaging than Rumble, both in terms of its sculpted detail and its paintwork. Purple plastic runs in two strips, down the sides, while the central mass is painted a super-dark gunmetal/charcoal colour. The faux-spools are, again, filled in with screws, and silver paint runs down a channel of sculpted tech detailing from the outer edge of each spool, then in toward the C.O.M.B.A.T. peg in the middle. Across the bottom are a couple of touches of a muddy orange paint that doesn't look metallic, but I suspect it's intended to this toy's sole reference G1 Ratbat's gold chrome booster/radar pack.

There's vastly more intricate sculpted detail on show here - far more in keeping with the rest of Siege than Rumble, and probably on a par with Laserbeak. I still can't identify what Ratbat is supposed to be in this form - and the cutaways at the top, either side of the robot's head, surely don't help - but he certainly looks like he belongs in the toyline.

Like Rumble, there are no accessories with Ratbat, and his single C.O.M.B.A.T. peg is, again, on the 'front' of his alternate mode, meaning the more gappy face, showing off the folded-up robot and a completely exposed head, is what's on view when he's attached to any of the larger 'bots via their 5mm sockets. The peg is slightly off centre vertically, but probably central enough that it wouldn't look too awkward as, say, a platform sole attached to the underside of a larger robot's foot.

Robot Mode:

I can't speak for everyone but, as a collector with a particular - not to say peculiar - fondness for Ratbat, all of his alternate mode's shortcomings pale into insignificance when I see his utterly adorable robot mode. I'd be the first to say that the G1 toy looks almost nothing like a bat, and the only Third Party alternative to the Masterpiece I own - KFC's Badbat - is a flimsy, hideous mess... but I don't have the Masterpiece, so this toy is the first one I've owned that depicts Ratbat well...

...And he's just the cutest little robo-bat I have ever seen. From his dinky feet, though his chubby body, to the tips of his servo-enhanced wings, Ratbat is somehow almost cuddly. Despite their bulk, the wings even look like wings, and are certainly as successful as Laserbeak's, if not moreso, because these can actually flap... Kind of.

What I find a little confusing about the design here is that the alternate mode's 'spools' are the wings' transformation joints, and become what would effectively be the 'palm' of the bat's wing/hand. The circular detail is not dissimilar to a spool, in that there are tiny 'teeth' inside the outer ring, and they've been highlighted with some silver paint... but then there are two smaller spool-like details on Ratbat's chest, either side of his Decepticon insignia. These are crammed into a more heavily-detailed sculpt than Rumble's G1-style simplicity but, unlike some other Siege figures, it doesn't feel crowded because of it. He even has ikkle toesy-woesies and pistons sculpted into his feet...

OK, look, I just want a life-size pet Ratbat, alright? I admit it, I am not ashamed. Deal with it.

 

Ratbat is also rather more three-dimensional than Rumble, not just because his wingtips can angle forward, but because they're designed such that they tend backward, at their hinge. The torso bulges slightly forward, but the head hinges down and out beyond that point from its alternate mode position, such that Ratbat appears to be hunched or leaning forward at all times.

The lack of accessories is particularly jarring here, since G1 Ratbat appeared to fly with the aid of rocket engines mounted on the bottom of his chromed weapon parts. Here, those odd orangy paint applications on his backside appear to be those boosters... but they're just not enough. However, I did discover that Rumble can perform alternate versions of his transformation yoga to vaguely resemble Ratbat's G1 weapons (albeit in entirely the wrong colour) and peg into his back via the same method I was able to give Rumble wings. It doesn't look great, and it has a terrible effect on Ratbat's ability to balance, but it's an option.

All that out of the way, let's talk about that gorgeous, cute, angry fledermaus head sculpt. I absolutely love it. It's as if the designer was instructed to create a robot version of a bat, as designed for an appearance in a Tom & Jerry cartoon. Thus, he has a face which is, at once, angular and rounded, with a little button nose on his cute little muzzle... and then he has the tiniest, most darling little fangs in his open-sculpted maw. His gold-painted eyes give him the appearance of Grumpy Cat levels of seething rage, which just makes him even more adorable. I also like that his ears look (slightly) more like actual bat-ears while incorporating the G1 toy's peculiar hook shape, and filling in the rest with fluting. The weird, sticky-up panel joining the ears appears to be a reference to the Marvel Comics character model which, for no readily apparent reason, had a kind of mohawk.

Siege Ratbat's transformation is far simpler even than that of his G1 forebear... and that's saying something. The feet flip down, the wings untab from his chest, open out, then spread out to the sides, the head swings forward and down on a double hinge... and that's it... That's all it does, but that's all it needed. Were it not for his gappy alternate mode, he'd be a masterclass in simplicity.

The downside to that simplicity is that he barely has any articulation. The wings swing through a range of about 75° during transformation, and bend at the middle through 180°. The feet can be angled, but not very precisely, and it's surprisingly difficult to get him standing on them as they're so short. Plus, I suspect they're a little misaligned on mine because I can't seem to get them to sit at quite the same angle. The two hinges for his head/neck don't offer as much range as one might think, both bending through 90° in opposite directions for transforming, but their movement becomes limited in their robot mode position - raising maybe 20° before butting up against the bridge of plastic between his shoulders, and looking down about 80-85°, with no sideways movement at all. There's even no way to perch him securely on Soundwave: where Laserbeak's feet were positioned and sculpted specifically to fit into a set of four indentations on Soundwave's forearms, there are no equivalent slots for Ratbat's feet and, naturally, they're spaced differently from Laserbeak's. I have to confess that, in terms of articulation alone, Ratbat was shaping up to be quite the disappointment... Until I realised I could fold his wings right in front of his eyes for the most delightful and precious 'peekaboo' pose I've ever seen on a toy.

It's really unfortunate that we're getting close to the 40th Anniversary of Generation 1... and we've passed the 40th Anniversary of Micro Change, whose Cassette Man was adapted into the original G1 Soundwave... and yet the toys we're getting now, to homage those iconic originals, are smaller and substantially less intricate and impressive than the toys that inspired them. Siege Soundwave is a dull, unimaginative take on the character, with a nondescript 'vehicle' mode, and the Earthrise remix is a travesty that doesn't even equal its 40+ year old ancestor, let alone surpass it. The G1 cassetticons were clever and dynamic, transcending their simplicity and, in some cases (Ravage being a particular example) offering surprisingly good articulation for such small figures. Their Siege ancestors are dull clunky and flimsy, feeling like pound shop knockoffs, while actual pound shop knockoffs of the original toys are available - in a variety of day-glo colours - and are, subjectively, still better than these.

Siege Rumble is pretty much hopeless, but elbows and better feet would have made him a lot more fun to play with. Ratbat should be much the same... but he's not 'cos he's super-cute and charming in a way that only a raging robo-chiroptera can be. He's a fierce, ferocious, fuming flittermouse, and I want to cuddle him forever. Absolutely worth the price of admission all on his own, even though he barely interacts with Siege (and, likely, Earthrise) Soundwave in either mode.

But that's just my opinion... Your mileage may vary if you're not so keen on Ratbat and therefore some kind of heartless monster.

What I find so baffling about the Micromasters intended for partnering with Siege Soundwave is that they're so inconsistent. The G1 versions of Soundwave's (and Blaster's) cassettes were all pretty consistent and relatively gap-free in their alternate forms - partly thanks to the cassette label stickers applied to all of them, but partly because their simpler designs facilitated a more consistent look. The only time any given pair of these Siege Micromasters look even remotely alike is when they're repaints of the same mold... and, to me, that's further evidence of the Siege line's myriad failures.

 

As a pre-Earth form, Soundwave could have accommodated minions of any size or shape - witness the Fall of Cybertron (game) version, where the Voyager class toy had a channel which could accommodate up to three comparatively chunky 'data disc' minions. Galaxy Force/Cybertron Soundwave had weapon accessories and minions which all turned into blocks with a hexagonal cross-section. TransFormers Prime mostly did away with the minions' transformation, and had them simply dock externally with Soundwave's chest. The designers could have taken any number of other approaches but, to keep it slavishly G1, they made them all into bargain-basement cassetticons that don't even turn into convincing cassettes/cartridges, when that's possibly one of the easiest shapes to emulate.

 

It's not helped by their size - Siege cassettes are substantially smaller, at 42x28x9mm, versus the G1 versions' 50x33x7mm (precisely the size of a real-world microcassette, the likes of which were used in dictaphones and answering machines before the digital revolution). Now, granted, Siege Soundwave himself is smaller than his G1 ancestor but, had his Micromaster minions been created in a different format, perhaps they - and he - could have been so much more effective.

Soundwave and the kids, circa 2019